Navigating in the Dark

 May 30, 2026

Saturday 

What am I doing. 

I'm going to church on Sundays and Wednesdays. Its Grace Church.  Grace is a Calvary Chapel.  Have you seen the movie The Jesus Movement?   Google it.   Grace has a radio station called Radio by Grace. They play sermons from different pastors from different Calvary Chapels all over the United States. 

Yesterday I went hiking again. I hiked the CCC trail. Its starts at the bottom of the canyon and goes to the rim. Well, the trail actually starts at the top at the visitor center and goes down to the canyon floor. But I start at the bottom and go up to the visitor's center and then go back down.  I would rather get the uphill over with first. The hike is a really good workout and has awesome views. 

I found a rock or something. It was sticking out of the canyon wall.  It looks like a small clay disc. I don't know if it's a concretion or a pottery game piece from a long time ago, or what. I will include a photo.  I'm writing this because after I found it, I realized all over again that I don't have you anymore. I can't show you the rock. And I really want to. So, I was hiking and crying.  We used to hunt for rocks together. It was so much fun. I left all the rocks we found at your place when I left. I wish I had kept them.  

I want my jewelry box and my earrings you bought me for Valentines Day.  I want my hat. I want the notebook from when you were in MDC.  I want the Pano art you made for me!  I wish I hadn't left all that stuff behind.  I wish I could tell you to send it to me.  

I wish you would come and tell me to come back.  I wish you would .............  I wish 

Fight for me...... Did you ever truly love me?   Throw caution to the wind.... Tell everyone you don't 

care what they think ........ you love me and everything is going to work out ......... Everything would 

have eventually worked out.  Your friends always came before me.  What your friends thought....

their feelings mattered ........................  mine never did.